Episode One: Conosco Il Tedesco. Ancora.

Molki
Airhead- Who?
Alias- Alliance with her.
Babio_Firza- First boot from our tribe.
Billy- Alliance with him.
Danny Messer- Who?
DhaDominant1- Alliance with him. He’s a total dumbass, but I’ve got no problem with that.
Eric- Self
Timmay- Who?

Right now it seems like there's an alliance of Me/DhaDominant1/Billy/Alias, and Airhead. I've talked to all of them but Airhead, but I've only confirmed the five-person alliance with Alias, so for all I know it'll hilariously blow up in my face and Babio's going to take control of the tribe.

Trust From Most To Least:

1)Alias - If things go hilariously well for me, this is who I want next to me in the final two. She’s one of the only level-headed people I’ve seen so far in the game which is HUGE since I don’t need to worry about dumbass decisions being made, like I do with Dha or Babio.

2)Billy - I wasn’t sure whether to put him or Alias first, but there’s a better chance Billy could fuck things up for me down the line which is not even REMOTELY glameriss. That said, he’s also more or less level-headed. The last few games I’ve played I’ve always ended up being screwed over by total dumbasses near the end of games: Zuchini-Man in a game I forget the title of, and D-Vinyard in Molokai. They tend to be lifeless until the end, then they realize “Oh shit, this guy’s a decent player,” and vote me out which is also not even REMOTELY glameriss. I won’t need to worry about this with Billy, I hope - he might fuck me over, but it’ll at least be better than being fucked over by a guy like Babio.

3) Dha - He’s an idiot, and I don’t him near the end because of what I wrote above, but he’s still useful for a while, and he’s not smart enough to make any moves.

4, 5) Danny Messer, Timmay - Who?

6) Babio - Either Para, who’s the worst thing to ever happen to IMDb and not even slightly threatening, or a smart player. It could be someone like Dan, who knows this could be a good strategy and probably thinks he’s being totally hilarious as Babio. If it’s Para, which I’m leaning toward since I HOPE there’s no one else like Para on the planet, I still don’t trust it.

7)Airhead - *probably* has a micropenis or something because this guy is really trying to be the leader of shit, which I’m not happy with. Or he’s a midget like Russell and has to throw his fatness around to be threatening or something, idk which I’m still trying to work it out. He’s trying to be all “hur hur this is whats happenin guys we should keep babio around” which makes it totally obvious he’s aligned with Babio. He kind of reminds me of S11 Bettis y/n?

Unfortunately Airhead's the "leader," which I was trying to avoid. Didn't want to take a side, though, even though I obviously would've preferred Billy as leader. Shit happens. Fortunately, just like Russell, Airhead's not the smartest guy around, so it probably won't be too hard to make him play the idol when he doesn't need to.

Why the FUCK is everyone asking me for an alliance? I AM NOT THAT LIKABLE GUYS DO I LOOK LIKE DAN?

Well, things are finally getting interesting. And by that I mean “holy shit these people are hilarious trainwrecks.” Almost everyone is DELIVERING.

Right now it does seem like Babio’ll be first out of our tribe, which I’ve wanted this whole time. With the “retart” out of the picture as Dha would say, we’ll have these fuckers left:

Airhead, Alias, Billy, Danny, Dha, Eric, Timmay

That’s when things might get fun, since there’s the slim possibility of an Airhead blindside. Him and Dha are pretty close which I don’t appreciate at all but I .get. it. I’ve got the votes of Alias and Billy without a doubt, and I’ve started talking to Danny and we’ve made an alliance. All three sound like vaguely intelligent people who at least don’t throw shit at others for fun, so gj @ allies. If I can secure Danny’s vote, that’s enough to get rid of Airhead, who, along with Dha, will probably want Timmay out. Sucks to be you, Airhead, but I’m a jealous bitch and you can’t have a stronger Dha bond than me.

Dha’s putting a huge target on his back with his ghettofab, and I’m kind of thinking he’s a goldfish with hands, so I’ll assume his memory span isn’t good enough to remember us getting rid of bffairhead.

I'm sensing a rap battle between Dha and Babio.

roflol @ airhead thinking being a leader is srs business.

Thanks entirely to me, we won the first challenge. I was kind of looking forward to getting rid of Babio and starting some shit up, but gj @ self for at least making it through a whole episode.

Not happy with Squidward joining the tribe. I was pretty happy with what we had, and I'm not about to trust him. If we win again I'm going to push for Alisa to join us since I'm pretty sure I can get in an alliance with her, but I doubt anyone else would go for that since she's apparently inactive. Wouldn't mind getting J.P. on our tribe either, but he's the leader so I'm not sure if that would be allowed. ANSWER ME NOW SWITZA.

it would be

also give me an HII.